'Twas the week after Christmas and all through my head not a bon bon was sounding, not even a sled...
Can I tell you why I really can't do Christmas anymore?
Firstly, I still love the meaning and spirit of the season. I think the idea of peace and goodwill to all is a profound and empowering one. I certainly believe it is appropriate and vital Christians remember the birth of Jesus. Sure it might jot be historically accurate to celebrate the 25th December as that day but no one seems to be able to offer an alternative with any certainty so I'm comfortable to acknowledge his birth on that day without feeling compelled to recognise it as the actual day. For heavens sake even the Queen's birthday holiday is not on her actual birthday so...
So what have I got against Christmas? No I'm not a Grinch, Scrooge or misery guts. It's just become too much and too removed from the meaning of the season for me to really want to be involved.
Here's the way I see it. We really now have a festival of presents, purchases, gluttony and guilt, tinged with or flavored by expectations, mostly realistic and nearly always painful. And to top it all off people who have no religion or faith based on the story of Jesus are clinging onto Christmas as though it is theirs to own and celebrate. Frankly the hypocrisy stuns me and then they'll even go off to a Carols service and sing away to God, the Angels and 'Oh Holy Night' - give me a break. And let's not start on taking a day off from work to commemorate the birth of the son of God! What's that about?
We consume huge amounts of food, because we have huge amounts of food served up to us and we waste huge amounts of food because we buy, grow, cook and/or put it in front of ourselves. What is it about Christmas that promotes gluttony and waste? Can I have the relevant passage in the Bible puhleassse?
Gifts become an obligation rather than a joy, with some even being 'equally apportioned' - if I give one kid $50 I have to give everyone $50. Frankly I have all I need, I don't need anymore gizmos, I'm not even sure I need the ones I have. My not smart phone does things I have no desire to use nor will my world fall apart if it I use none of it except the phone. In fact I would not be substantially affected if that stopped, there are phones at work, pay phones around and I have a landline. Oh and those payphones cost 40 or 50 cents a pop - don't think about the plan you are on and how much those 'free calls' you get actually cost. But hey that's probably too hard and we just can't be bothered anymore and it is all about 'now'. That must be why the phone or gizmo we buy today at some inflated price will be replaced within a year and we could buy the same model at a third of the price but n o we'll again be conned into paying full whack for our new one.
What if I just say 'no more' to gifts, well look out for the guilt! How can I deprive friends or family from giving me a present? But am I certain the presents I get are heartfelt or given from a sense of obligation - because it's Christmas. I am grateful for the kindness of the gesture when I get a gift but why should anyone feel they have to give me something? This consumerism and festival of gift giving only really dove into madness since the second world war so it is not a 'tradition' by any means. I see ads on tele for a $500 barbecue or a $1200 TV system and I despair at the connection with Christmas apart from the gift giving. If I give a $10 gift card I immediately wonder if that is 'enough' and I wonder why...how is the price linked to the gesture? Is filling my cupboards with 'stuff' or being obliged to contribute to a Kris Kringle really adding to the sum of human experience and the goodwill to all?
No, not everything has to have a meaning and a purpose in life or always be for the betterment of humanity. BUT if one time ought - wouldn't it be Christmas?
So next year I and many others will again gorge at a table of excess, smile at people we really tire of really quickly, swap presents we really didn't 'need' to buy and stop to think about those who have a lot less and will continue to...and then it's off to bed children.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
Monday, December 17, 2012
Random thoughtfuls
A few things to ponder:
- You are 15% more likely to die from gunshot wounds in America than any other country
- All States of the Union now allow concealed weapons to be carried
- Very few states have screening requirements for gun purchases
- No state has a waiting period for purchase of guns
- Licensing requirements (where they exist) are not standardised
- Hunting accounts for less than 6% of the population of the States
- Every day in America, guns claim 84 lives and wound nearly 200
- There is no constitutional right to buy submachine guns or silencers
- Australia has had NO mass killings since gun control laws were passed in the wake of the Port Arthur killings (1996)
- 'Guns don't kill, people do' is nonsensical. Guns sell in their hundreds of thousands, don't tell me it's so they'll just sit in a cupboard and look menacing - they are made to kill (and that would be the point Sherlock)!
Saturday, December 15, 2012
This IS the day
Children shot and killed, others terrorised and cowed, a 20 year old man kills himself and it leaves us gasping with grief and incredulity.
I visited this subject all too recently after the murders in the Cinema showing 'The Dark Knight' so I will simply refer you back to there.
On Twitter I was called a 'slimy liberal' for a comment. Probably indicative of the difficulty for Americans to have a reasonable and mature discussion about the topic of gun control or just the level of debate social media is capable of.
I am hopeful that Obama with the shackles of first term Presidency off his hands might show the courage (although why it should take courage is a question onto itself) to say 'enough' and bring America into the 21st Century and ask why that great nation has to have most citizens armed when very few other countries survive without that 'need'. I do believe that Americans are wholly decent and moral people but the chink in the armour is this madness of owning a gun. And as I said in the other blog, no one else 'bearing arms' prevented this ghastly sadness happening in Newtown today. So what is the f**cking point? It is maddening and loony logic. And more and more it is becoming simply indecent.
Today has to be the day or at least the first of days.
And it has to be the last of the days, please dear God...I don't want to see another one of these moments of horror. It is NOT evil at work (that seems to me to be such a cop out), it is one sad person taking their moment in the limelight, acting out on some pathetic need whether as a result of mental illness or simple cruelty. And, you know what, it could NOT have happened in a society that had tight gun controls or believed in every citizens 'right to bear arms'.
I am so sorry for the families of these children,teachers and others who have died. To the classmates and surviving staff and parents of children spared, to the emergency teams and hospital staff, the journalists who cover the stories and to all of us left wondering why, our thoughts are with all of you...take a moment to reflect.
I visited this subject all too recently after the murders in the Cinema showing 'The Dark Knight' so I will simply refer you back to there.
On Twitter I was called a 'slimy liberal' for a comment. Probably indicative of the difficulty for Americans to have a reasonable and mature discussion about the topic of gun control or just the level of debate social media is capable of.
I am hopeful that Obama with the shackles of first term Presidency off his hands might show the courage (although why it should take courage is a question onto itself) to say 'enough' and bring America into the 21st Century and ask why that great nation has to have most citizens armed when very few other countries survive without that 'need'. I do believe that Americans are wholly decent and moral people but the chink in the armour is this madness of owning a gun. And as I said in the other blog, no one else 'bearing arms' prevented this ghastly sadness happening in Newtown today. So what is the f**cking point? It is maddening and loony logic. And more and more it is becoming simply indecent.
Today has to be the day or at least the first of days.
And it has to be the last of the days, please dear God...I don't want to see another one of these moments of horror. It is NOT evil at work (that seems to me to be such a cop out), it is one sad person taking their moment in the limelight, acting out on some pathetic need whether as a result of mental illness or simple cruelty. And, you know what, it could NOT have happened in a society that had tight gun controls or believed in every citizens 'right to bear arms'.
I am so sorry for the families of these children,teachers and others who have died. To the classmates and surviving staff and parents of children spared, to the emergency teams and hospital staff, the journalists who cover the stories and to all of us left wondering why, our thoughts are with all of you...take a moment to reflect.
A Prank Goes Wrong
My thoughts have recently been with the family of Jacintha Saldanha the nurse who took her life after transferring the prank call from 2DayFM to the ward of Kate Middleton.
Up front I think the prank was a bit of larrikinism and I have no reason to believe there was any malice attached. It wasn't particularly well done nor was it really convincing. I do think the station management have tried to 'manage' the reaction rather than respond in a humane and decent manner. Unfortunately no matter what they do now they have lost the momentum and botched any hope of being seen in a decent light. The two presenters are two naughty adults who ought to have known better but who have been coached and spun so tightly they probably don't know which way to turn. Their inability to cogently answer some questions in their interviews this week was symptomatic of over engineering and protection from corporate nabobs.
That aside I have pondered why someone would kill themselves, not want to go on living over something as meaningless as the prank. Sure we can blame cultural differences (shame etc), we can speculate on what else was going on for Jacintha that led to her hanging herself or we can look at what might be happening to all of us. That's my concern.
I have felt for quite some time (and some of my previous blogs might reflect this so forgive my repetition) that more and more we are becoming less and less equipped to 'cope' and we have a propensity to attach ourselves to 'things'. We define ourselves by our relationships, by our jobs, our sexuality, iour salary, even by what we own or buy or for the love of Mike, wear. What is going on?
Somewhere along the way we have fallen into the idea that we no longer have worth for just the being we are, that joy doesn't come strongly enough in our individuality, that we always need to be approved of, be part of something, have 'followers' or 'friends' or only have value if we are acknowledged in the context of the general, the group, the ideal or the fashion of the day (clothing and trends). Heaven help us apparently if we are not of the favored demographic, race, religion (or non religious), don't have the latest gizmo (critically the latest), can speak the lingo of the moment or conform to the marketing industries current 'in' thing. This, I think, is what is bringing us down. How can we have a healthy self esteem if that is tagged to something that happens on a whim?
We need to take stock and remember that we are god-given beings who have the privilege of being here, now. Out of the millions upon millions of random (or specific) acts of nature, a whole heap of atoms conjoined at a particular, incredible time and we, each of us individually and as a population are here as a result. It could have been anyone else but it is US. That is amazing, that is one hugely profound idea.
We are NOT more or less worthwhile as a human because of who we choose to love, marry, cohabit with or feel hurt by. If a relationship ends it is often shitty but it ought not be a reason to end our lives, we are made to recover and the challenge - even the wonderful gift for us is to survive the pain and go on and prove we weren't destroyed by it. Reality check...it was just a relationship. Similarly if we lose the job we loved, or were bullied by some sad sick creature or physically attacked by a random nong...we are not the tragedy, we are human beings who can survive it all and go on to rub the universe's noses in the aching despair. We have to stop wanting to or choosing to be the event, the crisis, the emotion and stay being the person. It is hard and it requires re framing of our thinking but, it seems to me, we used to be able to do it. I believe we can again.
As a footnote, I have been a person who has sunk to despair and wanted to curl up in a ball and die. Indeed I have taken active steps to end my life once. I became what my thoughts told me, I was useless and unlovable and worthless. I did that to me, I chose to believe 'me'. So I know what those thoughts are like and I know it can be changed. We are who we are for lots of reasons and we can blame others and we can just stay stuck. Or we can change. Sometimes we don't have the power to change where our hurts or ideas came from but we always can choose where we go from today. We can still do it and we have to be okay about it because it makes us healthy and strong and it can stop us from ending the precious life we've been given.
Talk to your friends who hurt, hug your children and let them know they are precious, give the bullies no power - shrug them off, turn your fear of them into pity for them, love your job but be ok if it ends, nurture your relationship as much as those in it but if it ends, let it go and be okay about that.
I wish Jacintha could have gone on to know all this. And you know what? I wish I could have one day been in London and know that I could still walk past her, not even knowing it was her but that she was on her way home to her family and was feeling okay...about herself.
Be well and take care
Up front I think the prank was a bit of larrikinism and I have no reason to believe there was any malice attached. It wasn't particularly well done nor was it really convincing. I do think the station management have tried to 'manage' the reaction rather than respond in a humane and decent manner. Unfortunately no matter what they do now they have lost the momentum and botched any hope of being seen in a decent light. The two presenters are two naughty adults who ought to have known better but who have been coached and spun so tightly they probably don't know which way to turn. Their inability to cogently answer some questions in their interviews this week was symptomatic of over engineering and protection from corporate nabobs.
That aside I have pondered why someone would kill themselves, not want to go on living over something as meaningless as the prank. Sure we can blame cultural differences (shame etc), we can speculate on what else was going on for Jacintha that led to her hanging herself or we can look at what might be happening to all of us. That's my concern.
I have felt for quite some time (and some of my previous blogs might reflect this so forgive my repetition) that more and more we are becoming less and less equipped to 'cope' and we have a propensity to attach ourselves to 'things'. We define ourselves by our relationships, by our jobs, our sexuality, iour salary, even by what we own or buy or for the love of Mike, wear. What is going on?
Somewhere along the way we have fallen into the idea that we no longer have worth for just the being we are, that joy doesn't come strongly enough in our individuality, that we always need to be approved of, be part of something, have 'followers' or 'friends' or only have value if we are acknowledged in the context of the general, the group, the ideal or the fashion of the day (clothing and trends). Heaven help us apparently if we are not of the favored demographic, race, religion (or non religious), don't have the latest gizmo (critically the latest), can speak the lingo of the moment or conform to the marketing industries current 'in' thing. This, I think, is what is bringing us down. How can we have a healthy self esteem if that is tagged to something that happens on a whim?
We need to take stock and remember that we are god-given beings who have the privilege of being here, now. Out of the millions upon millions of random (or specific) acts of nature, a whole heap of atoms conjoined at a particular, incredible time and we, each of us individually and as a population are here as a result. It could have been anyone else but it is US. That is amazing, that is one hugely profound idea.
We are NOT more or less worthwhile as a human because of who we choose to love, marry, cohabit with or feel hurt by. If a relationship ends it is often shitty but it ought not be a reason to end our lives, we are made to recover and the challenge - even the wonderful gift for us is to survive the pain and go on and prove we weren't destroyed by it. Reality check...it was just a relationship. Similarly if we lose the job we loved, or were bullied by some sad sick creature or physically attacked by a random nong...we are not the tragedy, we are human beings who can survive it all and go on to rub the universe's noses in the aching despair. We have to stop wanting to or choosing to be the event, the crisis, the emotion and stay being the person. It is hard and it requires re framing of our thinking but, it seems to me, we used to be able to do it. I believe we can again.
As a footnote, I have been a person who has sunk to despair and wanted to curl up in a ball and die. Indeed I have taken active steps to end my life once. I became what my thoughts told me, I was useless and unlovable and worthless. I did that to me, I chose to believe 'me'. So I know what those thoughts are like and I know it can be changed. We are who we are for lots of reasons and we can blame others and we can just stay stuck. Or we can change. Sometimes we don't have the power to change where our hurts or ideas came from but we always can choose where we go from today. We can still do it and we have to be okay about it because it makes us healthy and strong and it can stop us from ending the precious life we've been given.
Talk to your friends who hurt, hug your children and let them know they are precious, give the bullies no power - shrug them off, turn your fear of them into pity for them, love your job but be ok if it ends, nurture your relationship as much as those in it but if it ends, let it go and be okay about that.
I wish Jacintha could have gone on to know all this. And you know what? I wish I could have one day been in London and know that I could still walk past her, not even knowing it was her but that she was on her way home to her family and was feeling okay...about herself.
Be well and take care
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