Two weeks ago if you’d asked me I would have told you I was opposed to same sex marriage. I was of the group that believed marriage to be a traditionally heterosexual construct and really let’s leave it thus. I certainly wasn’t prepared to stretch that opposition to justify any inequality in rights relating to same sex couples such as in access to government services or superannuation. However, I wouldn’t have marched in the streets to stop legislation approving same sex marriage but I wasn’t inclined to sign petitions or get excited to support the cause.
Today I now support not only the right of anyone who is in a loving and legal relationship to marry should both choose to but the responsibility of it to be enshrined in legislation.
The reason for my change of opinion is simple – it makes sense whereas the contrary view does not. Traditionally marriage is for men and women but it would be wouldn’t it? If they are the only ones who have been allowed to marry, how could it be otherwise? Besides that marriage as we know it in 2011bears little resemblance to marriage as it was practiced in earlier times. It is true that marriage was really a contract between parties to protect property and title, often the woman was part of that property. When you think of that ghastly term of the father 'giving the bride away' it starts to get a bit sick making.The notion of ‘romance’ belongs to more modern days so let’s not kid ourselves that ‘tradition’ is something always worth following. History is always worth observing but seldom worth repeating and tradition is similarly not a mandate for never changing, especially when it simply makes sense to change. Sometimes the time comes for change and I am of the belief that we are now in that time for this change. I am further of the opinion that decency dictates it.
A month or two back Raimond Gaita on Q and A commented about why he thought people might feel uncomfortable about the idea of gays getting married. It can be a question of disgust for what some perceive a homosexual relationship entails, it can be a rather uninformed or convenient interpretation of isolated sections of the bible or it can occasionally be going along with the mob view. What Rai Gaita said was that whilst there is any inequality for gays in any aspect of society or law there is a corresponding lack of respect or recognition of dignity of their sexuality (‘that is being denied to them’).He went on ‘…given how fundamental sexuality is to our sense of what it is to be human, it is not an exaggeration to say, I think, that it's a denial of their full humanity.’ That argument started to resonate with me and together with my change of view based on the tradition of heterosexual primacy in marriage led to my change of stance.
Let’s face it men will be marrying men and women will be marrying women in the next few years so why don’t we get on with it. Maybe then we can work out how to stop poverty, educate everyone, eliminate waiting lists in hospitals and make sure everyone has a job and a roof over their heads!
Mind you with nearly half of our marriages disintegrated within 20 years and many people being blinded by the pizazz of the wedding rather than committed to the vows they exchange, I wonder why anyone would want to join that odd club of the ‘committed’. But then again sometimes we just want to not only be able to do something but also to have the opportunity to say ‘no’.
I don't expect nor would I impose any sanctions on a religion or clergy member who felt they could not carry out a marriage or solemnize a wedding for same sex couples. That is a matter of faith, belief and frankly their job and I don't think anyone else ought to be getting overly excited about bringing about change there, it's really not worth the battle. For me that might very well be the only forum where a so called conscience vote or question belongs!
Good luck and God bless anyone who find love and finds someone to love enough to want to spend the rest of their lives with. If anyone gets their knickers in a knot well I say get over it, nothing will be lost by the change in the law and no one’s rights will be diminished either. The worst that can happen is that some people who have been made to feel ‘less’ simply because God decided they would love their own sex, will now feel less excluded.
Not a bad thing in a caring, compassionate society that prides itself on being mature and passionate about equality surely?
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